Some of our sharper customers and those who’ve bought new products might have noticed that, for example, the packaging and here and there features a new kind of logo.

For years, we’ve roamed the world with just the VALCO text. It’s worked, since typography rarely gives anyone trauma. Unlike our “original” logo back in the day. That thing looked so weak we quietly deleted it and just hoped nobody managed to screenshot it.

But as a company grows, you have to face the facts: a plain text logo won’t cut it forever. Especially if your long-term plan involves building your own Death Star, conquering the world, and enslaving humanity to serve us.

Symbols are powerful. They stick in your mind, burn into your retinas, end up on flags, tank turrets, and eventually in history books. Usually for reasons nobody can explain afterwards.

We wanted our own symbol. The kind that, a hundred years from now, illiterate petty criminals will be scribbling on metro bathroom walls, and decent folks will learn to fear.

In short: we needed a mark you can slap on boxes, products, patches, and eventually the side of a laser gun in the Orion Belt. This mark has to stand the test of time (and radiation).

We didn’t use AI (this time)

We decided to do something wildly out of character: we actually paid real money for the logo instead of just telling an AI to hallucinate a “symbol to slap on the side of the Death Star.”

We picked Pekka Nokelainen as the designer because he just happened to wander into the train station bar where Henri and Jani were pondering over beers that a new logo would be a pretty cool thing.

Luckily, Pekka is a man who gets the core of the Valco brand: maximum invoicing, minimum effort. Pekka describes his design process like this:

“We immediately noticed the client’s sense of humor was just as twisted as ours. Jallu must’ve been flowing, because the next morning no one really remembered what we’d agreed on for the logo.

The project goal was clear: do as little as possible and bill as much as possible. The Rolex remains a dream, but at least the fee covered a round of beers.

Somewhere I saw the Left Alliance logo and thought, if I just split that in half and add a line, no one will notice.

Looking back, the end result would probably look best on the side of an East German running shoe, but I’m sure we’ll win some design award for this too. I’ll hang it on the outhouse wall at the cottage with the others.”

We think it was worth paying Pekka to plagiarize a political party logo for us and not even bother touching the wordmark. That kind of genius, audacity, and laziness deserves respect. 

That’s why we asked him to redesign all the packaging while he was at it. So the new product boxes are also Pekka’s handiwork. 

So what is this logo, anyway?

The new logo is minimalist, retro-futuristic, and just the right amount of vague.

  • One sees the letter V, as in Valco.
  • Another one sees a headphone headband.
  • A third person sees a plagiarized political party logo.
  • In theory, someone could also see a Finnish swan flying away for the winter.
  • One guy in our company sees a penis in it, but to be fair, he sees those everywhere. We’ve tried to get him help. No luck so far.

For us, it’s mainly a logo that looks like we know what we’re doing—even on days when we absolutely don’t. A better logo makes everything look a bit more expensive, and in business, that’s always a win, because, well, money.

What’s next?

Valco is growing. When you’re shipping electronics spiced with Finnish humor around the world, it’s good to have a symbol that’s simple, recognizable, and—most importantly—registered as an international trademark.

The new logo will show up on future products, packaging, our webstore, and basically anything that stays still long enough for us to slap our logo on it.

And if you don’t like this logo, that’s fine. We just want to make sure you’ll see it everywhere for the next 30 years, so you’ll get used to it whether you want to or not. Resistance is futile.

— Valco, the world’s friendliest evil corporation

Author: Henri Heikkinen