Miscellaneous Writings

Miksi ihmeessä joku haluaisi rakentaa tehtaan Puolangalle?

Why on earth would anyone want to build a factory in Puolanka?

People regularly ask us what the hell it actually is. Usually with a smirk. When will it be finished, haha. A small headphone company talking about a factory...

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Unohda suomalaiset vastamelukuulokkeet, tässä parempi vaihtoehto

Forget Finnish noise cancelling headphones, here’s a better alternative

Iltalehti today: “Forget Finnish noise cancelling headphones, here’s a better option.” Those other headphones are probably great. But when the only Finnish m...

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Etsimme festarikätyriä Valcon kesäkiertueelle 2026

We're looking for a festival lackey for Valco's summer tour 2026

Building the Death Star is slow work when we’re supposed to scrape together a thousand billion trillion from 199 euro headphones. So we decided to speed thin...

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Valcon asiakaskysely 2026: tulokset ja toimenpiteet

Valco customer survey 2026: results and actions

A whopping 2305 customers answered our damn long survey. 96.6% were happy. We’ll tell you what we’re doing for the 3.4% who weren’t, and what products we’re ...

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Unelma Kuolemantähdestä koki takaiskun

The Death Star dream suffered a setback

We spent the company's cash reserves, the coffee fund and borrowed money on destroying planets. In return, we got nothing but a box of Danish plastic. Read t...

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Valco sai uuden logon

Valco got a new logo

A text logo alone isn’t enough if the goal is to subjugate humanity. That’s why we got ourselves a new trademark. Read the uncensored story of how the new lo...

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Maailman ystävällisimmän pahan korporaation identiteettikriisi

The identity crisis of the world's friendliest evil corporation

Valco is the world’s friendliest little evil corporation, but in 2025 the joke is starting to stick in our throat. The headphone market is a brutal oligopoly...

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VMK25.2 on päivitys, jota kukaan ei pyytänyt, mutta kaikki tarvitsevat

VMK25.2 is the update nobody asked for, but everyone needs

We're proud to release our new flagship model, Valco VMK25.2. It's technically better, more stable, and more durable than its predecessor, but the price is e...

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Parhaat kuulokkeet, joihin sinulla on varaa

The best headphones you can afford

People expect us to explain why our headphones are superior. In reality, they’re just as good as everyone else’s. The real difference is what we do when they...

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