Valco Oy, the world's friendliest evil corporation and Finland's leading headphone manufacturer, announces the successful exit of investor Markus Eronen, originally employed as occupational therapy.
After selling his own company, Markus suffered from having an overly full bank account and spiraled into unemployment. In early 2024, he was practically forced to invest in Valco to spend his time sensibly and employ himself in something meaningful.
At Valco, his primary goal was to strengthen the company's financial resources and fulfill the founders' dreams of gold watches, sports cars, majestic boats, and other such necessities. Already during the summer, Valco shareholders and customers got close to this goal while enjoying a ride on Markus's fine boat.
True to his promises, Markus worked tirelessly to fulfill the founders' dreams. Unfortunately, he also expected this from others, which didn't match Valco's Mañana culture and Olympic-level work avoidance. Markus’s departure, however, involves no major drama. He moved on to head a family business manufacturing doors and windows, as balancing his time with a mentally demanding company like Valco was too much.
Now, with Markus literally making money through doors and windows, Valco is once again investor-free. In practice, this means no one will attempt to speak sense to us or demand any responsibility or organization. Valco celebrates this newfound freedom by returning to tradition, burning all the fancy reports, Excel sheets, and a significant part of our accounting in a spectacular ceremonial bonfire.
Valco Oy sincerely thanks Markus for his generous contributions, nearly endless patience, and especially his Excel skills, which seemed like black magic to our staff—no matter how much he explained his spreadsheets, we saw only random numbers and mystical symbols resembling an ancient Sumerian shopping list.
With his exit, Markus proved once again that Valco truly is an incredible money-making machine. His investment turned out significantly more profitable than, for example, Tesla shares at the start of 2025.
Usually, companies proudly announce how they have successfully raised huge amounts of new investment capital. In our case, however, the real reason to celebrate is that our investor got money, and we, in turn, are now free to mess around as much as we please.
We sincerely wish Markus success in his new career. After Markus’s exit, we returned to our traditional working style—staring blankly at screens, waiting for success to happen on its own, just as it should. Our long-term strategy remains unchanged: we continue building the Death Star and dominating the universe, preferably without any of us having to work too hard.
A relevant video on the subject is included (in Finnish, with English and German subtitles):
Jaa kavereille:
Headphones with Your Own Logo