Comprehensive noise cancelling head­phones test

Our ambitious project naturally began with a grandiose plan. The idea was to comb through all the noise cancelling headphones in the world, review them thoroughly, and compare them against each other like some acoustic gladiator fight at the Colosseum, in the spirit of the Those About to Die TV series (which is actually pretty good, worth watching).  

We spent nights thinking about where to start: should we test the headphones in a forest first, where the basic question is, "if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?" Or on a plane, where noise cancelling performance is measured against Dom Perignon consumption?

The vision was clear, but as often happens, reality, meaning our investor Markus, walked in with his tie crooked and reminded us that a budget is slightly different from megalomaniac visions. So we had to save money somewhere, and we decided to save it where it's easiest for us. Meaning we simply didn't buy any of the other headphones. No point using our tiny budget for the benefit of competitors.

But since there are hundreds of different headphones on the market, rejecting all the others left us with a pretty decent testing budget. So the broad comparison became "we're comparing these two," but that's fine, because in our opinion these are the only headphones that matter anyway.

VMK25. The luxury choice from snowdrift to Sahara

The first test was carried out where very few noise cancelling headphones have dared to go: in a snowdrift. We left the headphones hanging from a tree branch and went inside to drink mint cocoa.

About two glasses later, we came back to confirm that the VMK25 survived at least a couple of mint cocoas' worth of freezing weather, and still felt on the ears about as comfortable as wool socks in the middle of a winter storm, as long as they'd first been warmed up indoors.

The sound quality stayed so stable that even a lonely polar bear might have stopped to listen, if we hadn't been in Puolanka, where the only bears around are ordinary brown ones. And even they are usually asleep in winter.

Battery life probably did get worse in the snowdrift, though we didn't manage to test it, because the cold started pissing off the testers about a day before the battery actually ran out.

Since we had decided to test the headphones in extreme conditions, it felt natural to move on next to the heat of the Sahara desert. The VMK25 handled that challenge too with honors. Surrounded by sand and merciless sun, the VMK25 did its job flawlessly. The sound quality was so clear it even drowned out the mating cries of camels, which is also a bit of a risk, because getting run over by a horny camel while listening to music seems like a fairly realistic scenario.

The only downside was that even though the headphones still worked perfectly, sand got absolutely everywhere. Not just in the headphones, but also in our underpants. So it was time to go home.

Headphones on a private jet. Toward luxury

After visiting the Sahara desert, we still had a bit of testing budget left. We figured that the VMK25 is the more expensive of our two headphone models, so naturally we also had to test its suitability for a high-flying lifestyle. Not in economy class, but on a private jet, where the champagne flows and the surroundings make just the right amount of noise. 

So then, a Praetor 600 from Scanwings under us, and off from Oulu toward the Croatian coast. On the same trip we also got to visit a partner's yacht, which of course means the travel expenses can be deducted in taxation. Assuming a loss-making company would even pay taxes in the first place. For this test we also brought along the new Megadeth model, because it's the most expensive version of the VMK25 after all.

Our memories of the trip are pretty hazy, and there are especially no photos from the yacht, but it was fun. Proven fact: the VMK25 works extremely well on a private jet too, and on a pleasure yacht, even though a champagne glass almost tipped over in the turbulence.

VMK20. The mandatory animal tests

Since the previous testing took place in extreme conditions, and the VMK20 is the cheaper model anyway, we decided to test it in more ordinary environments.

We started with traditional but highly scientific animal tests, which had been forgotten while we were off traveling with the VMK25. The headphones looked confusingly stylish on a dog's head, but usability left something to be desired, especially since the ears are in a completely different place than on a human. The cats refused to cooperate, and Jani's cat slipped off into the bushes like it'd just seen a tax inspector.

After the furry animals, we tested them on hairless animals too, meaning children.

The result of the test was that while the headphones looked cute on children's heads, they were still unnecessarily large for 0 to 3-year-olds.

Testing among children revealed an interesting finding: noise cancelling causes anti-noise cancelling. The headphones' dampening makes the child produce noise that exceeds the normal decibel limit. So if the headphone user is below school age, prepare for noise levels that compete with a rock concert.

The test was enlightening, but we very quickly realized that we wanted something calmer.

The commoners' travel test

Once we'd had enough of the children's cacophony, we decided to move the test into a more adult environment: Spain, a place Finnish retirees and financial criminals drift to when the homeland starts feeling too small and too cold. To guarantee a perfect test, we departed from our usual standards and flew economy class. Even though covid restrictions haven't been a nuisance for a long time, we still put on a mask so nobody we know would recognize us in economy.

The cramped atmosphere on the plane, the armrest war with neighboring passengers, and the screeching voices of children created the perfect conditions for a real test of the VMK20. Even though the economy class refreshments mainly caused second-hand embarrassment, the VMK20 did its job with honor. The noise cancelling muted most of the chaos, and the headphones stayed comfortable throughout the whole flight.

In Spain, where the sun burns pale Finnish skin in the blink of an eye and the guitarist in the next restaurant thinks he's some kind of huge star, we carried out the headphones' real relaxation test: lying in a sun lounger.

By the pool at a hotel packed with tourists, the White VMK20 was the perfect choice. The white model didn't absorb heat and didn't become burning hot on our ears. On top of that, the white model goes very well with pale Finnish skin tone. Most importantly, we got to listen to an audiobook in peace, even though the hotel also had all sorts of distractions, such as our own wife.

Pasi test

Last of all, the VMK20 ended up as the victim of the Pasi test. In this test, the headphones were handed to Pasi without instructions, and his task was to try them out freely. The result was, let's say, sad. Pasi put the headphones on backwards and wondered why the sound was so weak. This confirmed that while the VMK20 is user-friendly, a little guidance may still be needed if the person testing the headphones is Pasi.

Summary

Our tests showed that both the VMK25 and the VMK20 are excellent noise cancelling headphones in their own categories. The VMK25 shined in extreme conditions all the way from a snowdrift to the scorching heat of the Sahara and the luxury of private jets, offering top-class sound quality and noise cancelling. The VMK20, meanwhile, was the hero of everyday life, surviving both the noise of economy class and relaxation tests carried out under the Spanish sun.

Both headphones are the best you can afford, but if you're Pasi, we recommend contacting our customer service to get the instructions clarified.