Subscribe to the newsletter and win
...a pile of Danish plastic that cost us everything.
How do you enter?
- Subscribe to the Valco newsletter by 15 November 2026 (and ideally after that too).
- Wait for the drawing, which takes place on 16 November 2026 (or the next sober day).
- The winner will be notified by email, at the address used to subscribe.
That's it. Doesn't require a university degree or any physical capability. Unlike assembling this toy set would.
How much is this prize worth?
For us, it cost seven years of savings, the company's reputation and our sanity, but the official value is exactly €999.95 (+ steep shipping).
Obligatory disclaimer
Valco accepts no responsibility whatsoever if you're disappointed by this device's firepower (unlike those Danish con artists). You can't kill anyone with this. Except maybe yourself, from sheer rage, if one of the thousands of bricks is missing or the whole thing collapses right before completion.
We're raffling off the Death Star. Because we got scammed.
At Valco, we've always had a habit of dreaming big. While other headphone makers are pondering new color options or app updates, we're pondering world domination. We wanted to be a galactic superpower with our own base in orbit and, when needed, enough firepower to silence the taxman and the most annoying complainers.
We figured that if you're going to subjugate a planet, you need a Death Star.
We searched online and found a Danish supplier in Billund. They promised to deliver "the greatest building set of all time," one that would restore galactic order. It took every cent we had, our own and what we'd borrowed and squirreled away over the past seven years, but we figured it was a small price to pay for becoming overlords of the universe.
Then came the day when the delivery truck backed into the yard. We were waiting outside with a bottle of champagne, ready to christen the hull of our new warship. They unloaded one sad little cardboard box.
WE'VE BEEN HAD!
No hypermatter in the box. No superlaser. Just thousands and thousands of tiny gray plastic bricks in bags, plus an instruction manual thicker than Raimo's list of sins. That Billund con man won't answer the phone anymore. We are now the proud owners of the world's most expensive toy, which only reminds us of our own stupidity.
We can't stand to look at this pile of plastic for another second. Which is why we saw only one option: raffle it off to one of you.
Ready to receive a heap of plastic?
We're raffling off this Death-Star-sized Danish plastic catastrophe among everyone subscribed to the newsletter.
If you're already a subscriber, you're automatically in on this humiliation. If not, subscribe to the newsletter right now, so we can keep telling you how we've pissed away the company's money on something idiotic again.
Raffle rules
1. Organizer
The raffle is organized by Valco Oy (hereinafter "the organizer").
2. Entry period
You can enter the raffle by subscribing to the Valco newsletter by 15 November 2026.
3. How to enter
You enter the raffle by subscribing to the Valco newsletter during the entry period. No other action is required, meaning you don't have to fill in any forms or answer any other tricky questions.
The raffle is open to all adults (18+) residing in the European Union. Each participant may enter the raffle only once and can win only one prize. Valco Oy employees and their family members are not eligible to win prizes. Even if they have very convincing arguments.
4. Prize
Among everyone who has subscribed to the newsletter by 15 November 2026, we will raffle off one LEGO Star Wars™ 75419 Death Star (value: €999.95). The prize includes shipping costs.
The prize cannot be exchanged for cash or another product, so if you win, you're getting the Death Star. Whether you want it or not. The organizer covers any lottery taxes as well as delivery of the prize.
5. Drawing, notification of the winner and claiming the prize
The drawing takes place on 16 November 2026, and the winner will be notified personally by email, at the address used to subscribe to the newsletter. The winner must confirm acceptance of the prize and provide the organizer with the necessary information, so that the organizer can deliver the prize (and so we can verify that you actually exist). If the winner does not respond within a reasonable time (7 days), the organizer reserves the right to draw a new winner.
6. Personal data
Participants' personal data will be used solely for conducting the raffle and for notifying the winner. The data is processed by Valco's subcontractor on their encrypted servers within the EU or the United States (i.e. in the cloud). After the prize drawing, all of the winner's delivery and contact details are deleted, and the data is not used for anything else without the participant's separate consent.
You can read more about our data privacy practices on Valco's privacy page.
7. Liability
The prize winner releases Valco Oy from all liability that may arise, may not arise, or is alleged to arise from entering the giveaway, claiming the prize, or using it. In other words: even though this isn't an actual Death Star but a pile of Danish plastic, the old rule applies. If you choke on the bricks, get burgled, or the box turns out to contain real lasers that burn your house down, that's not our problem.
The organizer does not guarantee, among other things, the following:
- That you'll ever manage to build anything resembling a Death Star out of this. It might stay an indeterminate grey lump, mostly reminiscent of our failed business plan.
- That the box contains every piece. The box really is unopened, but if the Danes are lying to us about this being a Death Star in the first place, odds are the brick count is also creative.
- That this thing is actually a deadly weapon. Contrary to what those Billund liars implied, this can't destroy a single planet or even the neighbour's hedge. The only real danger is choking, or losing your mind reading the instructions.
- That the manual is useful or comprehensible in any way whatsoever. It's thick and depressing, and probably just contains pictures of things you will never finish.
Liability (continued)
It's the winner's own responsibility to make sure they're prepared for everything possible. And also everything completely impossible that this pile of plastic might cause. That means, for example:
- That you are mentally and physically prepared. We're not responsible if, ten days into the build, you notice the grey bricks have started speaking Danish to you or you're having dreams that consist entirely of instruction manual pages. If your psyche collapses mid-build, that's between you and your therapist.
- That you have adequate accident insurance. This building set may carry you to galactic glory, or at the very least to A&E. Insurance comes in handy when you're explaining to a doctor why you have a permanent 2x4-stud-shaped hole in the sole of your foot, or when you find yourself entered in the national frustration-screaming championships without any prior experience.
- That you have a good attitude. Because this is not a relaxing jigsaw moment, it's an adventure and a war against your own patience. Anything is possible. Except any certainty that you'll ever finish it, or that it'll look like anything other than a heap of grey despair.
Liability (yet more continued)
By entering the giveaway you accept these rules and acknowledge that you are brave enough (or desperate enough) to take on this Danish plastic hell, the outcome of which nobody, not even us, has the faintest idea about.
The organizer reserves the right to laugh good-naturedly if and when the winner realises that this pile of plastic isn't conquering the neighbour's back garden, let alone an entire galaxy.
The organizer also reserves the right to advertise epic, planet-destroying warships, then admit it got scammed and raffle off a pile of toys to you instead. But hey, this is still better than a caravan pitch at the world's most depressing campsite, even if the vibe during the build might be at least as bleak.
It all depends on the gods of the marketing budget. The more newsletter subscribers and headphone buyers we get, the less we'll have to resort to Danish scammers or raffle off mere plastic bricks in the future.
Owning and building this 'Death Star' is entirely at your own risk. The only thing we promise is that this build will become a story you'll still be telling in the retirement home. Assuming you survive the project without a final mental collapse!